Month: October 2011

My Top 10 Halloween Season Movies

Well, I’m still trying to find my camera so that I could bring you the behind the scenes piece on Monster Mash-Up 2011.  So instead, here are my top 10 Halloween Season movies, in absolutely no particular order:

Halloween.  All of ’em, pretty much, though Season 3 tends to leave me cold.  The Rob Zombie remakes are great (well, the first one is great, the second has moments of brilliance and moments of bizarreness, so go where you will).  And I’m particularly fond of H20.  There’s something about it that just gives me the Halloween Warm Fuzzies.

Rocky Horror Picture Show. I mean, come on.  How much more in the twisted, spooky vein do you need to get?  Frankenstein’s monster, zombies, sluts and aliens all in one.  😀

Nightmare Before Christmas.  Though I’m semi-tempted to put this on the Christmas list.  But Halloween mostly wins.  “This is Halloween”: damn song will get stuck in your head for ages.  Bell, Book and Candle could also be said to be a cross-over, all about witches but set at Christmastime.  Go figure.

Corpse Bride.  “A wedding, we’re going to have a wedding!”  It’s a fun little romp through the land of the dead.  If you haven’t gone down this movie road, you really should.  And for a corpse, the bride is pretty hot.

Wizard of Oz.  It’s on the lighter side, and yet so funly marvelous.  Scary witches and flying monkeys, what more can a girl ask for?  Right, teally great shoes.

Sweeny Todd.  Still in the land of musicals, we are, but moving back to the blood and the gore.  Nasty death galore, but with songs.  How lovely.

Zombie movies.  Yeah, okay, so this was cheating, but seriously, how do you pick your best?  There’s the classic Night of the Living Dead and the modern mocking of Shaun of the Dead & Fido.  28 Days Later will freak you with their super-speed and the nasty commentary on humanity.  Zombieland should be issued as a teaching video.  Resident Evil has given me nightmares (gah, stuck with the red queen in my dreams, was most disturbing). And the list could continue.

Evil Dead & co.  Don’t read from the book!   hehehe.  This one more so for me after seeing the live play version.

Hmmm, combining a bunch together has made these last two slots much harder.  I’m racking my head, but it’s a bit hard.  My head, that is.

Exorcist movies are certainly a decent choice.  The original will always be marvelous and I rather like Lost Souls which I tend to think of in the same general vein.  But they’re not overly Halloweenie, just scary.  Still, they fill a spot on the list.

Oh, if only I owned it, I’m sure I would watch it.  Puff’n’stuff.  Damn, that would make a fine Halloween movie, don’t you think?  Witchypoo can’t be beat.

And finally, the Wicker Man.  Perfectly classic.

On a different day I might give you a different list, but today, this is my top 10 (uh, 11) Halloween Season movies.

So what do you watch in preparation of the season?

~Abysmal Witch

Halloween Philosiphizing

The other day I was thinking.  I know, I know, it was a dangerous thing for my poor little mind, but sometimes even I need to go down that road.  And after some minutes of the poor little mice struggling to overcome inertia and get the wheels turning stuff like the following spewed out:

Halloween is one of the few co-created society-wide events in our society.  Christmas is another one, the other “major” holidays less so.  These are events where a majority of people buy into the event and work together to create an atmosphere.  With Christmas, for example, people put lights on their houses and decorations outside for others to share in as an experience.

Small examples of this that I’ve experienced are small weekend pagan events where we all agree to co-create a particular world around us.  I go to one entitled Pirates & Faeries.  Everyone dresses up, decorates their living space, and work together to decorate our shared spaces.  The results are spectacular.  We live within a fantasy world that we have all worked together to create.  Which also means that everywhere you go lies within that world so long as you stay within the boundaries.

Halloween is co-created on a much grander scale.  Sure people opt out, but enough opt in that the entire day becomes a co-created “fantastical” world.

Monsters and dead things abound.

My gods, just think about this, being fearful is encouraged and celebrated.  And then we’re taught to laugh at our fears.  We are taught to wear our fears on the outside of our skin, to BE the very horrors that have us hiding under our covers.

How gods-freaking-fabulous-tastic is that?

Seriously.  Look at this outlet we have given ourselves from mundane reality, and it’s for everyone!  AND we’re saying it’s okay to be scared.  And we’ll join with everyone else in making it happen.  How wacked is that?

This is the only holiday/celebration in my society that goes beyond the shared co-creating of an environment (xmas does that with all the lights and external decorations) and invites us to GO INTO EACH OTHERS LIVES!

There are only two generally, sort of accepted ways to visit someone’s house if you don’t know them:

1) you’re selling something, from god to floor cleaners, cookies to makeup, you’re there to sell.

2) you’re begging for help, like a phone call for your car, a run-over pet, psychotic man in mask trying to kill you who turns out to be your brother who killed your older sister many years before and has now escaped from the prison/sanitarium and is now going to kill you

But then there is this bizarre, magical third reason:

3)  It’s Halloween.

Um, wtf?  Why on earth is it acceptable on this one day of the year to go wandering to some strangers house, ring their door, and ask for CANDY?!?

Just stop and think about it for a minute if it hasn’t already struck you.  Outside of Halloween, have you ever just gone up to somebody’s house, knocked on their door and expected to receive something nice?    Just try and picture it happening.  Try and picture doing it.

It’s weird.

And yet on Halloween, it’s expected.  And that it’s okay for kids to do it (even now when we’re terrified to let them touch dirt let alone talk to strangers).  And that those who have opted in (with the lit pumpkin) have agreed to a social contract to open that door and give out goodies.

This is so freaking bizarre it makes me proud to live here.

~Abysmal Witch, in her element.

Gorging

Had to do the grocery shopping today, part of life’s necessities, but I also do it as a once/week big shop and cook to see me through most of the week (too busy most days to worry about cooking and that pesky lunch thing!  just nicer to have leftovers to reheat).

I was in the grocery store and I wanted desperately to pick up something tasty and satisfying that I could gorge myself on.  That I could eat until the deepest parts of my soul were satisfied.  I wanted to slurp it up, shove it in my mouth, eat and eat and eat until utterly and completely satiated.

This is not a good feeling.

This is a feeling born of something deeper and nastier.

But I didn’t think about that.  I just wanted to satisfy the craving <little voice in back of head crying out “warning!  WARNING!!!”>.

Problem was, I’ve embraced a fiscally responsible world, with a budget for things like groceries, and I’ve been working on losing weight by being conscious of what I’m eating.

So everything I looked at either a) cost money I wasn’t willing to spend or b) wasn’t perfect enough for satisfying the gorge desire to warrant the calorie cost.

Went through the whole grocery store going, “hmmm?”  ummmm  “naaaahhh”.  It was a rather annoying and clearly pointless trip to the store.  I bought vegetables and meat for tonight’s dinner and this week’s lunches.  Cereal for breakfast.  A vitamin and fresh bandaids (Disney princess faeries this time hehehe).  No donut croissants, no bags of chips, no chocolate bar or candy or anything “bad” for me yet oh-so-tasty.

Why?  Because every temptation I picked up I did an internal test of “will this satisfy my need to gorge?  Enough so that it’s worth the calorie & financial cost?”  And the answer was always no.

And you know what happened when I got home?

I had my cereal breakfast for dinner (it was a weird and rather backwards day in many ways).  And I felt full.  Not utterly satisfied, but full and in no need of further food.  So much for the gorging desire.  A bowl of cereal filled me up to the “I don’t want to eat anymore right now” state.

This was an almost accidental handling of the emotional burning urge that underlied the gorging desire.

And I’m damn glad.

If I was really good I’d sit down with the feeling and get closer to understanding its source and its underlying need.  But instead, heading to bed, strangely satisfied with the results of my day.

Rapture

“Let thine innermost divine self be enfolded in the rapture of the infinite.”

Screw waiting for God to reach down and pluck me up in a swirl of sparkling lights and falling dust motes of my once solid body.  I’ll take my own Self into rapture, thank you.

And you can too.  Really anyone can if they are willing to invest the time, energy and self-discovery (youch!) necessary for full acceptance, integration and through those the expansion into All.

I am divine.  No, I am Divine.  That is, DIVINE.  Not just fabulous, wonderful or glorious.  Nope, move beyond all that, all those limited edges and realize that the fullness of divinity resides within and thus we within It.

Hold to your divine self.  Slide into it, Be It.  And the Universe, the All, opens before you.  Petals of the golden flower unfold with a blush of warmth, rich scent and delicate traces of moisture.  It is All.  And you are It.  You are in it and in one and in One become All.

And rapture comes, is, has always been waiting, present, unknown and longing.  It is, all around, all through us, because it is All.

Rapture.  Spiritual orgasm beyond any conceivable human scale.  Hell yeah.

Rapture on, fellow seekers!

~Abysmal Witch

p.s.  I am completely sober 😛

Old Enemy

I’ve been quiet for awhile now, dear seekers, but not for lack of wanting to share with you.

No, the desire to share has been present and willing.  The rest of me has been too exhausted, too silent, too encased in on old enemy to be able to set fingers to keyboard.

No fascinating lead up, no drum roll, just a few last phrases before I reveal that cursed, hated name:  depression.

Yep, I am one of the <wait for google search> one in three suffering from major depression.  Oh, yippee.

As I said, he’s an old enemy (I’ve decided it’s male, at least today).  We’ve spent many years together, sometimes in a row, sometimes just a few months at a go.  Every now and again I go years without a visit.  I could have gone another couple before running into him again.

Truly.

But here I am.  Now I have the advantage of having gotten intimate with Depression in the past.  I know his quirks, his faves, his peeves, his bad habits and his favourite hang-outs.  Does it make any of this easier?

Objectively:  yes.  I know what to do to counteract at least some of the effects.  I may go down the road of anti-depressants until it resolves itself.  I will likely visit my therapist (been a couple of years, would be good to catch up).  I stay active, engaged with people, doing things that make me happy (ha! sorry, couldn’t resist mocking that statement).

Subjectively:  f*ck no.  Depression SUCKS!  It sucks happiness out of you, it sucks energy out of you, and yes, it sucks the soul right out of your being.  It comes in waves, but in the midst of a wave all I want to do is curl up in a ball and call in “f*ck you” to life.  I’m prone to irrational anger, miniscule tolerance to stupidity, and random crying fits.

I really hate crying.  Gives me headaches.

So, this is where I’ve been.  Wallowing.  Trying desperately not to wallow.  Then going to bed early because I’m too exhausted from the emotional drain to stay awake.

Yes, exhausted.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, depression is utterly exhausting.  It may seem that there’s no reason for such tiredness.  After all, depressed people don’t necessarily do a lot (that whole exhaustion thing) so why so tired?  I believe it’s the deep intensity of the emotion.  It drinks straight from your soul, taking all of your spiritual nutrients and leaving nothing for you to live off of.

And the most frustrating thing?

I feel that if I could just do a slight switch on my mental state.  Just look left instead of right, I could change my whole outlook and be a happy, healthy individual.

I can see the possibility of it dangling out of reach, like the gods are playing me like a kitten.  But even the kitten occasionally gets the yarn.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll catch the string.  But for tonight? I’m thinking another drink before going to bed.  But hey, at least I expressed myself via the blog, yes?  Let’s count that for a win!  😉

Addendum:  as always, this I’m sharing so that the information/idea/experience travels out into the cyber world that it may reach people who find it useful.  I have no need/desire for and am certainly not seeking sympathy.

For anyone who has gone through or is going through:  high five!  hmmm, okay, low five!

~Abysmal Witch