December 2011 – The Abysmal Witch

Hunting Wabbits to the Hollow.

The sharing of bliss is not done, but it will come in its time.

This time is for something else. It is the quiet, the still, the pause between times when the world rests, sits, takes a deep breath in preparation for the work ahead.

The work will come soon enough. It waits at the tips of us, our fingers, noses and tongues, but it will wait just a little bit longer.

For now we rest in the hollow.

It is still here. Silent.

Space.

The room for all things within us, without us, between us all. Nothing is held onto here, no preconception, need or desire, expectation or haunt can remain, clinging to us, when we enter the hollow and stay to it. Despite the pushings and pullings or our normal nature.

It is when the tug-o-war ceases that you know you have arrived. Visits can be very short or very long, but always they change us.

Transformed.

It is different here, change comes more easily once the commitment to change is forgotten and being, just being, sets in.

So long as you continue to hunt wabbits, the hollow cannot take you. But hunting wabbits can lead you to the hollow.

The hollow is everywhere. It is perception and duty and life that keeps us from settling in to it.

It is our own misconceptions that keep us from knowing it.

Our fears lace us into a corset of requirement. Keep us from knowing the fullness of our Selves.

Sssshhhhhhhh. Listen quietly. See softly.

Rest empty.

~Abysmal Witch

(My) Eight Blisses of Yule: #3, Receiving

It is good to enjoy receiving gifts.

It is great to enjoy receiving gifts without any emotional baggage. As in your own emotional baggage, not the gift’s.

To think, someone cared for you emotional state enough to get you something they thought you would enjoy.

And yes, again I am getting away from the requisite giving that is so typified in the media and our culture (and even more so in other cultures judging by recent conversations). This isn’t the required polite receiving of some polite gift that was given because it was expected and received with a polite smile because the amount of emotion on the receiving end equalled that of the giving end.

I’m talking about having a gift in your hands that as you look upon it your heart glows. It makes you laugh. Or it fulfills a need. Or it satisfies an itch you didn’t even know you had. It speaks to you. And it’s FOR YOU.

I’ve long believed that we experience love through attention. When we are on the receiving end of positive attention, we feel loved (having your birthday remembered, receiving a gift you really wanted and so clearly the other person had paid attention to you, being asked about your day and the examples could continue forever).

Receiving a gift is taking in love.

Without commitment or expectation.

NO STRINGS ATTACHED.

If there was a string attached then it wasn’t a fucking gift and it doesn’t belong in this conversation.

Wow, taking in love.

As I type, I think “hey, this is why Santa is such a strong, beloved archetype!”

What is this lunatic talking about?

Think about it. Santa is the ultimate gift giver, right? He gives to all he loves (generally portrayed as all who are “good”), freely, without any expectation of return, no strings at all.

Which means that when you receive a gift from Santa, all you have to do, ALL you have to do is receive it. Take it in. Take that freely given love into your heart. You get to enjoy the gift without any guilt or need to reciprocate. Something I think many people have a hard time doing when the gift is from someone known. But Santa? His gifts are safe to receive.

I received gifts this yule. And each one was unexpected and appreciated. And ZERO fretting over anyone who didn’t give a gift. Because there was no need for gifts to be given. No need = no requirement = no guilt. Gods, I love things that come without guilt.

This receiving isn’t the greedy grasping of a selfish child. This is the glorious receiving of the open and essentially hopeful child.

This Yule I let myself take in the gifts of my friends, from the physical to the spiritual, the joy of their company to their funny stories.

Yes, gifts range far beyond the physical, and many of them arrive when we’re not paying attention.

Time to wake up and take it in. Let it all in. Receive the gifts that are waiting for your hands to open to take them in.

~Abysmal Witch

(My) 8 Blisses of Yule: #2, Giving

I’m not talking about obligatory follow through. I’m not talking about the need to reciprocate. I’m not talking about fulfilling someone else’s expectations.

I’m talking about the sheer bliss of giving BECAUSE YOU WANT TO.

With no other lingering, hidden feeling lurking behind the giving.

There’s no expectation in it, no regret, no pressure, no feeling that you “had to”. The one and only reason for the giving is because in your heart of hearts you want to. What you want. To who you want. Without needing, without WANTING anything back.

That’s right. My bliss lies in doing it. Utterly and completely in the doing.

Full stop.

The only thing I hope for on the other end is to see a bit of my joy reflected in the receiver’s reaction. That’s my payoff.

And what a fucking awesome payoff it is.

8 Blisses of Yule: #1, Resonant Kin

Last night I gathered with many beautiful people to celebrate Yule.

Throughout that night I experienced true bliss, in waves that crested and rushed over me. Over the next days I shall share what names I found for the waves.

My first bliss of Yule is the souls of my spiritual kindred. I stood amongst the woods, goddess in me, and my kindred stood by my side. They danced the ritual with me. They shared food and laughter, solemnity and grace. These aren’t just kin. These are the people that resonate with me. We are not the same but together we created a harmony that, I like to think, lifted us all up higher.

When we spoke, ideas and concepts and understanding was shared, not just words and information.

I felt like I was among my own kind. I WAS among my own kind.

Graced in bliss by my resonant kin.

~Abysmal Witch