What if, instead of focusing on the end result, we concentrated on what we are doing, right here, right now?
I was reading an article on Yoni Massage and in it was reference to our almost pathological fixation on orgasms as the end result of sex. And that in letting go of the goal or orgasms we can increase everyone’s pleasure in the process. We can find greater connection to our sexuality and to our bodies, sensations and each other, by letting go of this goal fixation and enjoying the journey.
I mean, really, isn’t that what so much “self help” is about? Enjoying the journey?
Don’t get me wrong, goals are a great thing. I have goals. I have daily goals and monthly goals and annual goals and life goals. I review my goals, changing as appropriate, reorienting myself as needed, creating sub goals when advantageous. Goals are darned useful things.
When they are a tool.
When they become the reason for movement, the only point of getting up is for the goal, then, then you run a risk of disappointment.
Because it can rob you of enjoying today. Right now. This moment. Because you’re not experiencing now, you’re viewing everything through the lens of The Goal.
It can also rob you of ultimate satisfaction if for some reason that goals fails to manifest. A man showcased on Humans of New York yesterday had been focussed exclusively for 12 years on getting to the top of Everest. In the end, the manifestation of that goal was not in his hands, it was in the mountain’s. In other words, the illusion of control sneaks into this arena too, that if we work hard enough we can achieve anything. As with any ‘truth’ there is a yes and a no to it.
If you don’t get up and get doing towards your goal, it will never happen. That is a certainty.
If you get up and get doing towards your goal, it may well happen. It is not a certainty.
But that is life. Life changes and ebbs and flows and shifts and we adapt or get really, really frustrated and bitter.
Letting go of the goal doesn’t mean not having one.
Letting go of the goal doesn’t mean not working towards one.
Letting go of the goal is about releasing it from being the only reason, the only consideration, the only purpose.
It can be a best friend, a guide, a sherpa, a dance partner. It is not you. It does not own you. It does not own your life.
You do. So own it. Let go of the need to be at the end of the journey, to have arrived at the goal, and instead spend your awareness coin on the process of getting there. You’ll be so much more satisfied when you arrive. And with stories to share.
Plus it’s good to stop and smell the roses on the way. Just check for water droplets first so you don’t end up snorting water up your nose. Life experiences, they come in large, small and sneeze inducing.
~Saturn, the Abysmal Witch