I hate days like this.
There is an underlying pall that wants to drag me down into…I don’t even know where. Ha! A lie! I have a damn fine idea of where.
It’s all nicely hidden at the moment. A general malaise. A sense of dissatisfaction with my world but without inclination to do something different. A quiet burble of sadness happening at a level just below awareness.
The familiar questions: am I on the right path? If so, then why this feeling? If it’s not the right path, then where else should I be traveling?
Heart-tired, soul-tired, body-tired, mind-dazed, all different ways of saying sadness.
Sneaking up on me for days. No idea at all where it’s going to take me or even if I will let it take me anywhere. Such a fine line between exploring negative thoughts for the purpose of embracing/releasing them and falling prey to them.
There’s no where else to go with this for right now. Will work. Will feel (gah!). Will find a way through.
It’s the dark forest at night, when all you want to do is get home to the safety and comfort of your bed, but the owls call to each other around you and the outside chill is sneaking into your bones and bringing with it the stirrings of fear. And the only way out is to move your feet forward and walk yourself home.
Sigh.