{"id":360,"date":"2011-06-14T18:14:43","date_gmt":"2011-06-15T01:14:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/abysmalwitch.wordpress.com\/?p=360"},"modified":"2011-06-14T18:14:43","modified_gmt":"2011-06-15T01:14:43","slug":"monster-bush-fear-the-wisteria","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/2011\/06\/14\/monster-bush-fear-the-wisteria\/","title":{"rendered":"Monster Bush – Fear the Wisteria!"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you look into this picture:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

You’ll see a couple of branches that make up the trunk of this plant. \u00a0Four weeks ago, that’s all there was. \u00a0Three branches coming off the trunk of this evil plant, no longer than what you see in this picture.<\/p>\n

I’d taken this chinese wisteria tree and hacked it down to nothing. \u00a0I figured it had had it’s time, and I needed the real estate it was taking up. \u00a0It was spindly at the top, hasn’t flowered in years. \u00a0And I was tired of it trying to crawl up INTO<\/em>\u00a0my building. \u00a0It was sending up these long questing tendrils in search of a new home, a crack, or anything it can crawl into or latch onto.<\/p>\n

Four weeks ago, that’s all it was. \u00a0Bare, dead looking wood. \u00a0But hey, I thought, I’ll water it anyways.<\/p>\n

Two weeks ago it was liberally studded with unfurling leaf buds. \u00a0Wow, the damn thing won’t die, I thought.<\/p>\n

Now it looks like this:<\/p>\n

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And I think, holy over zealous tree, batman! \u00a0And do you see the tendrils climbing up the window? \u00a0Seeking some new place to sneak into and take over.<\/p>\n

To hell with bamboo, fear the wisteria! \u00a0It will take over the world. It will crawl into any crevasse. \u00a0And it can not be killed. \u00a0Fear it and you may survive.<\/p>\n

~Abysmal Witch<\/p>\n

Oh, gods, I think it’s grown while I’ve typed!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you look into this picture: You’ll see a couple of branches that make up the trunk of this plant. \u00a0Four weeks ago, that’s all there was. \u00a0Three branches coming off the trunk of this evil plant, no longer than what you see in this picture. I’d taken this chinese wisteria tree and hacked it … Continue reading Monster Bush – Fear the Wisteria!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[7,11],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/360"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=360"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/360\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=360"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=360"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=360"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}