Had to do the grocery shopping today, part of life’s necessities, but I also do it as a once\/week big shop and cook to see me through most of the week (too busy most days to worry about cooking and that pesky lunch thing! \u00a0just nicer to have leftovers to reheat).<\/p>\n
I was in the grocery store and I wanted desperately to pick up something tasty and satisfying that I could gorge myself on. \u00a0That I could eat until the deepest parts of my soul were satisfied. \u00a0I wanted to slurp it up, shove it in my mouth, eat and eat and eat until utterly and completely satiated.<\/p>\n
This is not a good feeling.<\/p>\n
This is a feeling born of something deeper and nastier.<\/p>\n
But I didn’t think about that. \u00a0I just wanted to satisfy the craving <little voice in back of head crying out “warning! \u00a0WARNING!!!”>.<\/p>\n
Problem was, I’ve embraced a fiscally responsible world, with a budget for things like groceries, and I’ve been working on losing weight by being conscious of what I’m eating.<\/p>\n
So everything I looked at either a) cost money I wasn’t willing to spend or b) wasn’t perfect enough for satisfying the gorge desire to warrant the calorie cost.<\/p>\n
Went through the whole grocery store going, “hmmm?” \u00a0ummmm \u00a0“naaaahhh”. \u00a0It was a rather annoying and clearly pointless trip to the store. \u00a0I bought vegetables and meat for tonight’s dinner and this week’s lunches. \u00a0Cereal for breakfast. \u00a0A vitamin and fresh bandaids (Disney princess faeries this time hehehe). \u00a0No donut croissants, no bags of chips, no chocolate bar or candy or anything “bad” for me yet oh-so-tasty.<\/p>\n
Why? \u00a0Because every temptation I picked up I did an internal test of “will this satisfy my need to gorge? \u00a0Enough so that it’s worth the calorie & financial cost?” \u00a0And the answer was always no.<\/p>\n
And you know what happened when I got home?<\/p>\n
I had my cereal breakfast for dinner (it was a weird and rather backwards day in many ways). \u00a0And I felt full. \u00a0Not utterly satisfied, but full and in no need of further food. \u00a0So much for the gorging desire. \u00a0A bowl of cereal filled me up to the “I don’t want to eat anymore right now” state.<\/p>\n
This was an almost accidental handling of the emotional burning urge that underlied the gorging desire.<\/p>\n
And I’m damn glad.<\/p>\n
If I was really good I’d sit down with the feeling and get closer to understanding its source and its underlying need. \u00a0But instead, heading to bed, strangely satisfied with the results of my day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Had to do the grocery shopping today, part of life’s necessities, but I also do it as a once\/week big shop and cook to see me through most of the week (too busy most days to worry about cooking and that pesky lunch thing! \u00a0just nicer to have leftovers to reheat). I was in the … Continue reading Gorging<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[2,4,12,15],"tags":[86,109,165],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/451"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=451"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/451\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=451"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=451"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=451"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}