{"id":829,"date":"2016-02-17T06:20:56","date_gmt":"2016-02-17T06:20:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/?p=829"},"modified":"2016-02-17T06:20:56","modified_gmt":"2016-02-17T06:20:56","slug":"i-dont-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/2016\/02\/17\/i-dont-know\/","title":{"rendered":"I don’t know."},"content":{"rendered":"

I don’t know.<\/p>\n

I don’t know how to feel. \u00a0How to bring my emotions up to the level of my awareness and breathe them out.<\/p>\n

I don’t know what I feel. \u00a0Am I anxious? \u00a0Stressed? \u00a0Hurt? \u00a0Angry? \u00a0There is a mishmash of emotions and all of them edged but not as much as in the recent past. \u00a0There are things gnawing at me, mild distress over choices made that apparently went wrong, feeling judged, feeling wrong.<\/p>\n

I don’t know if I’m wrong or right. \u00a0Where do my actions sit on the appropriate line? \u00a0Does it even matter? \u00a0Probably not. \u00a0It isn’t a global catastrophe or even a localized one. \u00a0Just a sense of unsettled and unright. \u00a0Which is not the same as wrong.<\/p>\n

I don’t know if there’s anything more to do. \u00a0Should I do more? \u00a0Should I care? \u00a0Should I do less?<\/p>\n

Should I walk away?<\/p>\n

How do I put down the little worries? \u00a0How do I put down the second guessing? \u00a0How do I walk away from the endless considerations of possibilities?<\/p>\n

I don’t know.<\/p>\n

And that, Dear Self, is living.<\/p>\n

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I don’t know. I don’t know how to feel. \u00a0How to bring my emotions up to the level of my awareness and breathe them out. I don’t know what I feel. \u00a0Am I anxious? \u00a0Stressed? \u00a0Hurt? \u00a0Angry? \u00a0There is a mishmash of emotions and all of them edged but not as much as in the … Continue reading I don’t know.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[344,343,345,269,346],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/829"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=829"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/829\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":831,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/829\/revisions\/831"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=829"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=829"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/abysmalwitch.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=829"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}